Over the last couple of years I have been doing a ton of growing and self discovery. This self-discovery was kicked off by my move away from my home state and my family. While I have a LONG way to go, I’ve learned several things along the way. The root of everything that I have learned seems to point to being unapologetically you. I’ve heard many people say that they do, but truthfully, do you? I was one of those people who would say, “I’m going to do me! I don’t care what others think!” I quickly found that this was not my truth. That my truth was that I cared deeply what others thought about me. And to a certain extent, I still do, but in a healthier way.
Blogging helped me discover this. Moving help to solidify it. I had to get used to new people and a new culture. All without my core support system. Sure. I had my husband, but I was used to being able to ‘get away’ from life’s woes and my truth by totally indulging in the comfort and safety of my family. I did not have this ‘security blanket’ when I moved. And it was scary as hell! About a year and a half ago, I experienced one of my most embarrassing professional failures. Although, I know that it is far from my last, it taught me so much about myself and while I am still discovering myself and building this unapologetic truth for myself, I am so proud of myself. Proud because I took something that totally made me hit rock bottom emotionally and made it my testimony of success.
I will begin to open up a bit about my successes and failures in hopes that someone is able to gain strength or learn something from my story. I am currently on an incredible journey that will definitely test my ideals of life overall and challenge my views of myself. You all will see more of that journey (both emotionally, physically, and professionally) as it unfolds throughout this next year and begin to take true form.
In the meantime, here are 3 things that I have learned on my emotional/spiritual journey of being unapologetically you:
1. Do not apologize for who you are. I came to the conclusion that I love the woman that I am becoming and that I should be OK with saying that openly. I grew up, as many of us, being judged by my looks, the way I spoke, who I decided to hang around, what I liked or disliked, hell, my whole character. This made me tone down certain aspects of my personality and shroud myself to be less threatening to others and to fit in. All the while, not feeling comfortable and awkward because I was not being myself. Now-a-days, I do not apologize for who I am, my blessings, and what I like. I LIVE it. If I do not want to go somewhere. I don’t. If I don’t like something. I don’t like it. You think I’m arrogant? Oh, well, b*$! I might be. Point. Blank. Period.
2. Focus on your goals. Full disclosure. Recently, I have experienced a trait of myself that I had not been familiar with in the past. It’s the feeling of being unmotivated and down right lazy. Having focus, especially with having larger than life goals, is extremely important and helps to sustain your dreams. Focus brings life to those things that live so vividly in your dreams. To lose focus, means to miss out on your dreams. To combat that, I keep close to my planner and have done some fat trimming to my life overall. I have learned to say “no” and to not overcommit myself. More specifically, I have been fortunate enough to have opportunities that I have been able to take advantage of to help streamline my schedule that pose less of a threat to my overall life goal. Now-a-days, if a person or thing presents a threat to my life goal, I immediately find a way to ‘abandon ship’. I have a no tolerance attitude toward anyone or anything that is a threat to my focus on accomplishing my life goal. More on my life goal in a future post.
3. Be selfish. It is OK to be selfish when you are focused on building yourself spiritually, physically, and emotionally. I would feel guilty about working on myself and doing things that only really benefitted me. However, I’ve learned that by focusing on building a better me, I am able to help others more than I would if I didn’t. I find this to be especially true when you are working toward your life goal. You have to have a solid foundation of self in order to accomplish this goal and for that goal to make an impact on others. To help yourself will ultimately help others.
Now that you have a few tidbits on how to live unapologetically. Go on. Go ahead. Be unapologetic.